A Change in Life...

You never know what life is going to bring you. I have always thought that life is predictable. For one person, she can and is usually right. As for me, I can't.

Over the summer, I started having problems with Center Stage Players. This drama continued through the end of the summer and into fall. Because of that, my job, and personal problems, I decided to leave Center Stage Players. It was one of the hardest decisions that I had made. There were days that all I did was wonder what I did, why it happened, and if I was going to go back. There was 1 person who I fought with more than anything- Alan. He was one of my best friends, and this hurt to no extent.

Even though it hurt, I felt it was right. It was time to let go. I'm sometimes not able to do that, but this time I felt it necessary to. I now had unknown amounts of free time! I was uber excited. A little Backstory... a little over a year ago (well, probably around July 2006), I started talking to someone online. We had made plans for the next year to meet, but never did. I was always busy with CSP. The one thing I was looking for was a friendship. Over the summer, I started talking to him again. He told me he was coming home September 26. I had new found freedom. So, I told him to contact me and we will make plans. This time, they actually came through and I met him in person. His name was Matt. Now back to the story...On the day CSP's the ExperiencE was to open, I had found a freedom that I didn't know what to do. So, I met Matt at Lennox and decided to go to Dinner and a Movie. Nothing was playing, so we decided to eat. One thing I found that we did not lack was communication. We always had a topic of conversation. Even now, we still do. When we left each other, I was thinking I have a new friend. I wasn't looking for anything. I finally got my life back, and I was actually experiencing happiness! Over the next few weeks, we hung out 3-5 times per week. Everyone thought we were dating. We told them we are only friends. No one believed. Last weekend, we had an unusual weekend, and i'm thankful for that...
Friday, I picked him up at his house to go to a movie, and then meet Ashley our for a drink after The Rocky Horror Show. Our old roommate was bartending for the first time, so we went to Axis. 3.5 hours, many shots later, we left. Drunk and crazy, Matt spent the night. No sex or anything happened. Friends don't have sex. The next morning, we parted company for 4 hours- I had a baby shower to go to. That evening, we went to Circleville for the Pumpkin Show and then to Mansfield to the Haunted Prison. It was late, and we stayed at his house (same thing from the night before- look above). Sunday, we went Christmas shopping and then to Showtunes with Ashley. Something happened that night that made me question anything about friends. We talked, and he agreed.
Over the course of the next few days, we talked about it more, and got more attached. I don't know when, but somewhere during the process of being friends, I had started to like him, and he me. Now, we are dating. Some said we moved too fast- others think too slow. Most gay people have already had sex, made out, fought, and sometimes broke up in the time it took us to realize what has happening.

Friday night- BoMA. I hadn't seen or talked to Alan in weeks. I knew he was there because of his vehicle. I didn't want to see him. However, after coaxing, I decided to go in anyways. Within 5 minutes, I found him. Instead of hiding, I decided to confront him. It wasn't anything like I thought. We were civil, and what ever happened seemed to melt away. Through the night, the storm clouds that surrounded the negative vibes around the show and troupe for me seemed to clear out and expose a starry night. The one thing that was troubling me was over. I had decided to confront it and now i'm much happier. I feel that I don't have to hide anymore. I have my friends back, a new friend, and my life is starting to fall into place. Who knows what life is going to bring. I might be brought back down to reality. But for now, its peaceful.